Sometimes I feel like I'm my baby sister's mother, a very naggy one at that, and I really hate it. The concerns I have of her future makes me wanna scream out loud!! Gosh.
I myself am guilty as well, as I spoiled her quite a bit, in ways of small sponsors, stuffing tiny amounts of cash to her whenever she buys stuff. Gosh. The "Y" generation....
If I am not concerned for her, I won't even get angry. Why should it bothers me that she is wasting her life away? Why should it bothers me that she is getting a salary, and atop of that, allowance FROM MY FATHER??? Perhaps it all boils down to jealousy I guess. I wasn't given that privilege when I first started out working, and my mum was super strict about the monthly allowance I HAVE to give to her.
Looking back, I really wondered how I managed to stay alive, and sane even. Gosh.
*Off Topic*
I read xiaxue's blog, her latest blogpost about "the secret", and I understand the negative part and pessimistic parts, but its a real struggle to bring out the positive side in my life. Need a lot of determination I guess.
Another way of looking at this matter,
I just need to "kan kai" (chinese for letting it go). Its not easy, but once you reach that stage, you will realise that its not hard at all. Hence my mantra's gonna be:
I will kan kai yi qie ying xiang wo de shi!!
(eng: I will let go of all matters that affect me badly!!)
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!!!
Jiayou, jEnnifer chan!!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
p/s: erm its a kinda contradicting post, but at the end of this, I managed to take the frown outta my face, and I feel much lighter!!! Heng I decided to blog about it and also to recall xiaxue's advice.
Thanks xiaxue, for sharing "the secret"
\m/
